Here’s an interesting conversation I had with a colleague over breakfast.
The masala dosa was rather hot considering it had just been placed at the buffet counter and I loaded my plate with an extra helping. My friend Nick chose to be silent when I said “bhai garma garm masale dosae” instead of the usual “haan bhai, aaj to watt lagaege“. So we find a table and settle down.
While we are busy depreciating the masala Dosa in quantity, a third soul occupies the table. Roxanne Gangappa! In an instant the hot masala dosa paled in comparison to her. With a light green deep cut or low cut (Lord knows what cut) single piece frock that ended well above the knees she sat down visibly irritated at something.
Nick looked up, acknowledged her presence and went back to eating. So I asked her for the both of us “Kya baat hai Roxy, aaj kuch party hai kya?” She gave me a death stare like I just killed her puppy! Okay, I got my cue and went back to eating. But of course she being a close friend and never having seen her like this over the one year that we’ve had breakfast together, I ask her “hey is everything okay?”
Should have known she was waiting for this question. Instantaneously she stops the act of assimilating food and blurts out “Men are such assoles !” Yes, ofcourse, we are. What else could we be na? “Pata hai kya hua?”
right, like I’m some sort of wizard to figure kya hua outta thin air.. how can I unless you tell me.
“toh.. I came by bus okaayyy.. and there was this guy who was sitting opposite to me and maa kasam yaar, he kept ooonnn staring at me”
even after knowing you for one year, I’m having a tough time not staring at you right now.. so, go on..
“kabhi nazar khidki ke bahar, aur kabhi nazar mere upar. and I know exactly where he was staring also gasp emoticon ”
well I know too, he definitely wasn’t admiring your eyes, that’s for sure!
“I mean, thum mardon ka kya problem hai?”
problem? what problem? nothing apart from the usual problem that plagues most middle class humans, that EMI to worry about, inflation, oil prices.. all those. Ab yeh kya nayi problem ke bare me baat kar rahi h????!!!
“after all it’s just a normal body part.” She was probably referring to something below the neckline. Yes definitely that.
Alright so it was just a normal body part for her, how could I tell her otherwise?
so I asked her, hey is that a new ring? and look at her hands. she immediately flaunts it and says, “nahi yeh to ek mahine purani hai. My boyfriend gave it to me for my Birthday! Achi hai na?”
haan bilkul !! kya me dekh saktha hu? and for the next one minute I admire (or rather gave the impression that I was admiring her ring). Well she was rather elated with all the attention she was getting.
Then I ask her, so Roxy, I’ve been staring at your hand for over a minute now, did you feel awkward? “Nahi toh”
now what if i were to do the same below your neckline? “kya??!! tum paagal ho gaye ho kya?” “pervert ho kya?”
But you just said so yourself that , it was just a normal body part, so why all this drama that was not there when I was staring at your hands?
Bhai me jaa raha hu, thoda kaam hai – chips in Nick who had quietly been munching away at his food all this while. And he gets up and leaves.
she stares back at me once again and exclaims “chodo, koi baat nahi“”Men will always be Men !”
Now for the Love of God I cant seem to figure out what I said wrong that offended her so much? unsure emoticon
Men will always be Men? Absolutely.. as long as women continue to be Women, men will have to be Men right? Maybe one day we can be a cat or a marsupial, all you have to do is let us know. Ha!